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The truck ride into town didn't take as long as Ennis woulda liked. He wished it'd a gone on forever, so's they wouldn't have to do this. All Ennis could think of was losin' Jack. He couldn't stand losin' him again. 

Despite the actin' they'd been doin' Ennis was watchin' Jack, savorin' what time they had together. He had them sunglasses on so's Ennis couldn't see his eyes. Ennis wanted ta see his eyes-- wanted ta see his eyes so bad. Hated havin' ta act like this-- pretendin' they was angry and actin' hateful to each other. What if somethin' went wrong, and this was the last time he'd ever see Jack again?  

Ennis didn't want ta think on that. No, not at all. His heart pounded in his chest as he drove.

The three of them done good at the cabin-- made it look real. They'd hustled out to the truck, yelled obscenities at each other, and thrown their bags willy-nilly in the back of the truck with Nina nippin' and nervous at their heels. 

Was Jack that said they should keep up their fightin' in case them men was watchin' em close-like. Poor girl didn't know what ta think of it all with her master 'n Ennis yellin' at each other. Hurt her feelings. She moped in the cab, layin' heavy against Jack's legs on the floor, pawin' at Jack ta stop every time he started yellin'. She didn't understand Jack was actin'-- that he wasn't angry at Ennis.

And them men had followed em-- just like the feds said they would; Ennis saw em in his rear view mirror, a gold sedan, followin' along. He pretended not ta notice they was there. Got damned nervous thinkin' on all the bad that might happen. Chain-smoked the whole time. Throat was raw from it.

They followed the feds' plan. Ennis pulled into the Burger King and snuffed out his cigarette. Checked ta see the men but couldn't. He knew them men was there behind em anyway. Most likely parkin' someplace close and watchin'. 

"Ain't no dogs allowed," Jack said as they started to get out of the truck.

"They'll let a seeing eye dog in," Linden offered.

"No. Best ta leave her be. Don't want her gettin' in the middle," Jack said. "She might mess this up. Just leave her in the cab until we come back out. I'll get her out of the cab as soon as we come out." 

Ennis nodded to Linden to let it be.

"Still don't believe they got Burger King in Mexico," Jack said.

He stepped outta the truck and stumbled forward, brushin' off Ennis' arm when he tried ta help. Jack slammed the door like he hated the world. 

"Don't touch me. I'll follow right behind."

Jack followed behind them. Was amazin' ta Ennis how he done that, like he had some kind of inner eye that was watchin' em. Still, Ennis held the door open. Didn't want Jack's inner eye to get black from runnin' into the door.

They got up to the counter and ordered-- Ennis shuffled his feet, looking up at the menu. Ennis was thankful fer one thing-- at least the menu was in both Spanish and English, so's he could order without lookin' stupid.

"Give me three Whoppers," Ennis said. 

Jack poked him in the back ta get his attention. Ennis turned his head and shrugged Jack off. Jack nudged him. Ennis frowned. "What you want, Jack?" he spit out. "Tryin' ta order."

"I want ta know why you doin' this?"

"Doin' what?" Ennis said, half turnin' ta Jack and half facin' the counter.

Jack clenched his teeth, pokin' his finger inta Ennis' back.  

"I want ta know why ya done it. So what was it? That I'm blind?" Jack asked-- loud enough so's those near em could hear, but quiet enough so's ta not disturb those sittin' down. "Is that it? That I'm not a whole man anymore? Or is it that he sucks cock better than me?" 

"Do-- do you want fries with your Whoppers, s-señor?" 

Ennis turned back to the teenage girl at the cash register, her mouth hangin' open in shock from Jack's words. Guess she heard. She was a cute little gal too. Looked all of sixteen, with her big brown eyes wide and worried. He reached into his back pocket for his billfold. Needed ta get this over in a hurry.

"Can ya not talk so loud, Jack?" Ennis said out the side of his mouth. He turned back to the young lady. "Thanks, fries too..." 

"And coke," Linden added.

"And three large cokes," Ennis said, wonderin' if they was safe ta drink, bein' fountain drinks 'n all. Didn't need to get the shits at a time like this.

"Why you takin' orders from him," Jack said, voice raised higher. "How long has this been goin' on?" 

Ennis pretended ta ignored Jack. Tried to, leastwise. Actin' was hard work. Was mighty hard doin' this in public. Wasn't expectin' Jack to spew out their sex life in front of all these people. Ennis half expected some of them Hispanic menfolk sittin' next ta the window ta haul out shotguns, yell "Es un buen día para cazar maricones!" then start ta blastin'. 

"Do ya love him?" Jack asked, voice breakin'. 

Damn, Rodeo missed his callin'. Shoulda been in the movies. "Jack, ya gotta talk about this here?" Ennis asked.

"No, guess not," Jack said, louder. "Never is a good time ta tell yer lover that you've been fuckin' around on him."

Jack's improvisin' wasn't sittin' well with Ennis at all. People were lookin' at em funny. Ennis hoped most of em didn't speak English. 

"I ain't gonna share ya," Jack spat out at Ennis, while Willie Nelson wailed "He was a Friend of Mine" over the sound system. "Never. I rather be dead."

Ennis knew he was the paranoid sort. Still, he was certain people were gettin' riled. Where was they? Was them guys in here, inside watchin' and listenin'? Ennis took a careful scan around the room. 

That man in the back with his head down looked mighty familiar.

"Calm down, Jack," Ennis pleaded, quiet-like. He noticed a young fella comin' up behind em wearin' one of them orange and blue uniforms with a stupid pointy hat and pin ta his shirt with the title "assistant manager" printed above his name.

"Who says I ever wanted to share him?" Linden spat back, gettin' in Jack's space. 

This was goin' from bad ta worse. 

"Señor? Señor!" The assistant manager stepped between Jack and Linden. Kid was zit-faced and nervous as all get-out. "If you do not stop, I shall be forced to have you leave."

"Not until I get my burgers--" Ennis growled. The young man stepped back, fear in his face.

"Fine," Jack said, "get your damn burgers. I'll be outside."

"No you ain't," Ennis said, grabbin' the back of Jack's shirt. "Yer stayin' right here."

"Stop bossin' me around," Jack hissed, yankin' away from Ennis' grasp. "Always bossin' me-- I'm damn tired of it."

Ennis took the bag of burgers and fries, then handed Linden the drinks. 

"How 'bout he stays here!" Jack yelled, motionin' ta Linden.

"He ain't stayin' here," Ennis said. "He's comin' with us."

"I ain't gettin' in that truck with him," Jack hissed. "Make a choice-- it's him or me."

Way Jack was puffin' up, reminded Ennis of a turkey. Looked damned ridiculous.

"He already made a choice," Linden mumbled. "You're just too thick of a dumbass to realize it." 

"You little piss ant," Jack said, thumpin' into Linden's chest. Was almost comical, Linden was so much shorter than Jack that his second bump knocked Linden's arms, upsettin' one of the drinks. 

"Fuck!" Linden yelled. Coke flew all over, in his face, down the front of his shirt and on to the floor. "You asshole! That's cold!" 

Ennis reckoned he didn't have ta worry no more if the drink was gonna make him sick.

All sorts of little heads turned their way as Linden spewed out more profanity. Ennis was gettin' damned concerned. In any language, the children understood that Linden weren't recitin' no nursery rhymes. And it weren't right-- he shouldn't be cussin' like this in front of younguns.

"Señor? Señor!" the assistant manager said with more authority. "You must leave." Ennis looked over Jack's shoulder and realized why the kid had suddenly grown balls-- a couple of burly employees, arms crossed and lookin' ready fer a fight, were standin' behind him. Last thing Ennis wanted was a brawl, although it might look more convincin' if one happened.

"Sir, ya'll need ta leave," the assistant manager demanded. "You can't use that kind of language here. There's young children."

Right then, Jack rammed his shoulder into Linden, sendin' him into the counter hard. The rest of the cokes went flyin'. The cashier's eyes got huge. Ennis dragged Jack backward by his collar toward the door. People parted for em like they was the Red Sea. Ennis turned ta see Linden gatherin' his composure and limpin' out to the truck, doin' his best ta wade through the people oglin' the three queers fightin'. Ennis still had hold a Jack, but now Jack was leadin' him instead. 

Jack flicked off Ennis' arm, stomped three steps up to the truck and fumbled for the door handle. He caught hold, then thrust the cab door open. Nina jumped out into him feet first, tongue lickin' him. Ennis stood in back of him. 

"Jack? Come on."

In one quick move, Jack spun 'round and took a swing at Ennis. He almost landed the punch, but Ennis ducked and caught it on the ear.

"I hate you!" Jack spat out. "Get out of my life. I don't need either of you. Fuck off."

"Jack, come on, stop it," Ennis pleaded.

"Wasn't like we planned this to happen," Linden said.

"You planned it, alright," Jack said, turnin' ta Linden. "You wanted him from the moment you saw him-- you fuckin' little weasel."

"Shut up!" Linden yelled out. 

This time Jack's punch landed-- hittin' Linden square on the chin. Linden flew back, slammin' into the truck, hittin' his head on the edge of the open door. He was bleedin' like hell. Course Jack didn't know it, couldn't see it. Nina was whinin', pullin' at Jack's pant leg. Ennis bent down to Linden, tryin' ta stop the bleedin' with the bag of burgers, and Jack headed off, Nina behind.

Never knowed when they'd showed up, but Ennis felt something not right-- he looked up, and there they was. They had Jack, arm twisted behind his back. Nina barkin' and growlin'. Jack beggin', "Don't hurt her. I'll come quiet if'n ya don't hurt her."

Ennis yelled, "No!" They was in the car like that-- and then they was gone. Ennis scrambled. Never felt so helpless in his life with Jack gone and Linden bleedin' on the ground.

He hustled Linden into the passenger side of the truck. Got himself behind the wheel and floored it. Tires squealed, smell of rubber lingered in his nose. 

------------------------

The world went black, and then someone slapped his face. 

"Ennis?"

Linden blinked. His mind clipped, became a slow-motion movie where Ennis grabbed his arm and threw him into the cab of the truck as he watched a gold 1970 Delta 88 speed away with Jack and Nina inside. 

He shook his head, willing his brain to come back to normal speed. 

"Jack didn't have to hit me that hard," Linden groaned. "Must have been all that adrenaline."  His eyes adjusted, taking in their surroundings. The Delta 88 was four cars ahead and pulling away fast. The sedan swerved abruptly around the next intersection. "Turn right!"

Linden hung on as Ennis gunned the truck, bumping over the curb and around the corner. Linden bounced in the cab.

"Where are them damn feds?" Ennis asked, scanning in front and in back. Linden heard the panic in his voice, the fear. "I don't see anyone else followin'." 

"That's the idea," Linden said, trying his best to reassure him. "You're not supposed to know they're following."

Linden took three deep breaths. He had to get his bearings. Jack needed him now. Ennis needed him now. He rubbed his jaw. Damn, Jack was strong-- that was one good sucker punch. Linden scanned the street ahead. The car was still there in sight. This wasn't going at all like Linden expected. Ennis was driving the truck when he should be. And was that Jorge inside that Burger King? What was going on with that? Was he imagining things? 

Ennis was a good driver, but he was no match for the men they were chasing. Their truck didn't have the muscle that car did, and all Ennis' skill and will didn't make up for it.

They'd lost them not more than ten blocks from the Burger King. A cab pulled out in front of them. Ennis slammed on the brakes. He stopped the truck at the light. At first Ennis just stared straight ahead-- face void of all emotion, then he broke to pieces, fists pounded the steering wheel, tears filled his eyes. Linden sat helpless as Ennis yelled out, "No, no, no." 

Christ, Linden thought, dragging his fingers through his hair, this isn't happening.

Horns honked behind them. People cursed. The light had turned. Linden sat up. Another voice was mixed in with all that confusion. A voice he knew. At first he thought he was hearing things. Linden blinked, turned his head slowly to the words, "Ennis, pull over." There in the truck next to them was Jorge. Jorge. His mind hadn't been playing tricks on him. He was there in the truck right next to them.

Jorge motioned for them to pull over. 

Linden's stare got Ennis' attention. He saw Jorge, too.

"Ennis, find a place to park this thing," Linden said. 

Ennis swerved into a parking lot next to an old fruit stand. Jorge pulled behind them and got out.

"Leave your truck here," he said. "You will come with me now."

"I ain't goin' nowhere," Ennis said. "Not without Jack."

"You will do him no good here," he said. "Come with me-- I will help you."

Ennis looked at Jorge, hope bursting from those sad eyes of his. Ennis opened the door and got out. They both followed Jorge to his truck and climbed in.

"They lost me easy," Ennis said bitterly, "They was right there. Right there. Then they weren't. I lost em. I lost em. And I didn't see no one else followin' em."

"Do not be hard on yourself, Señor DelMar. He is this way--" Jorge nodded to the road ahead. "You see, it is not necessary to follow if you know where they will go."

TBC

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Love Is Blind Chapter 33

Date: 2008-02-10 03:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bmshirts.livejournal.com
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Poor Jack, in the hands of desperate men, not knowing whether the Feds, or Ennis and Linden are following. No matter if Jack is the bravest man in the world, it has to be terrifying right now for him, blind, powerless, going to who knows what, or where. He must have visions of this being his death ahead.
And now Jorge shows up, saying he'll help Ennis and Linden. What's up with this? I have a feeling Jorge is not what he pretends to be. He is working against the terorists who want to overthrow the Mexican government. Is he an agent of that government working under cover? I pray he is as good as he says and can lead Ennis and Linden to Jack before something bad happens to Jack.
I don't trust the Feds to be of any help. They will, with no hesitation, sacrifice Jack's life to achieve their aims. After all, to their minds, what is one blind queer more or less?
I think it will be up to Ennis and Linden and, yes, Jorge to help Jack now.
Please update soon. I'm dying here!!! Thanks. Carole

Re: Love Is Blind Chapter 33

Date: 2008-02-10 04:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
I admit, Carole, that I get just as caught up in the story as the readers-- if not more so. I think Jack is exceedingly brave in this story. He's taking a huge chance and knows the risks could be deadly.

Jorge is a puzzle in all this. I don't know if it will be the next chapter or the one after where you find out how Jorge fits into all this. I plan the next chapter to be almost-- if not all-- Jack's POV. He's not only got plenty to contemplate, but he's in the clutches of the men who most likely beat him.

I'll be updating this chapter faster than this last one.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

el

Date: 2008-02-10 01:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] schlopki.livejournal.com
oh jesus :( that isnt good..poor ennis..god i hope jorge knows where they are and they'll find him soon :( i dont like them apart and not in such a situation *eek*

shit :(

cant wait for more! you have something for cliffhangers, no? ;P

Date: 2008-02-10 05:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Jack's in a bad place and Ennis can't come to the rescue like he'd planned. But wait! Maybe Jorge will lend a hand (or in Linden's case, lend him something a little more intimate).

Thanks for reading.

yes, I do like cliffhangers.

;)

el

Date: 2008-02-10 01:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bbmjack324.livejournal.com
WHHHHOOOOWEEEE! Damn good chapter. The 'acting' was awesome--and yes Jack shojlda been a movie star! ö

Oh goodness, what willthey do to Jack!? Though Jorge seems sure where they'll take him...

Or is it that he sucks cock better than me?" 
"Do-- do you want fries with your Whoppers, s-señor?" 
heeee heeeee

Date: 2008-02-10 05:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Now, how did that little gal know they had "Whoppers"???

I am so bad sometimes. I couldn't help myself with that one. I didn't think anyone who catch on to that but it looks like your mind travels along the same track as mine ;)

Thanks for reading and commenting.

el

Date: 2008-02-10 01:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gilli-ann.livejournal.com
Eeeep! What a chapter! The scene in the Burger Kind was funny and uncomfortable and scary all at once, - imagine Ennis actually having all of that trotted out in the light of day, in front of people, no matter how much the 3 of them were acting. Wow. Priceless OC cameos here, the assistant manager, the girl at the cash register... and I smiled to see the "Es un buen día para cazar maricos" in its context. They all 3 of them lost their calling, not just Jack. And the scene in the parking lot and the adrenalin and panic of the chase - well, I forgot to breathe! And now, the added mystery of Jorge! And poor Jack and Nina, in the hands of goons. This is so frightening and exciting and well written!!

Date: 2008-02-11 11:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
I kept in mind Ennis' reaction to Jack's words the whole time I sorted through this chapter, trying to make this in character for Ennis. It was a balancing act, to be sure. I went back and revise the OC cameos and Ennis' reaction to them both (and the children in BK). Ennis, despite his hard exterior, loves children and animals. He is soft-hearted and compassionate, even if he says very little, his actions speak for him. I had to get the internal voice coming through on this for him.

Yes, the Spanish phrase is revealed!!!

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

el

Date: 2008-02-10 02:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samtyr.livejournal.com
Wow, this is a great chapter. Loved all of it -- the fight in BK, the fight in the parking lot, Jack getting kidnapped (damn, that was more than right on cue) ... and now Jorge *knows* where they are going. Either Jorge has a lot of street informants or he's working for someone else. Can't wait to find out what happens next.

Date: 2008-02-11 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Ah, Jorge is a mysterious character. You'll get his story soon (may not be next chapter, most likely in two). Jack's POV is the focus of the next chapter. I may swing to Ennis for awhile too. It depends on the flow of action that I want to create.

Thanks for reading and your gracious comments.

el

Another thrilled ride chapter!!

Date: 2008-02-10 03:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] george66.livejournal.com
el_wing,

Wow!! What a roller coaster chapter. The ride never let up on one moment and it was thrilling to read. Poor little Nina. She has on idea what is going on. All that she knows is she is hating watching her Jack and Ennis "fighting." Poor dear.

But despite the seriousness and danger running rampant throughout the chapter, I so love how you managed to bring humor to the piece as well. The fight at Burger King was intense but hilarious as well. Only Ennis would be so worried about how all the profanity would effect the kids. Ennis is so wonderfully old-fashion which only makes him adorable and sweet.

The fight overall was great not only because it was achieving the desire goal but also perhaps it was allowing both Jack and Linden to live out some deep dark fantasizes of their own. Maybe the reason why that punch Jack gave Linden was so hard because deep down Jack wanted to punch out the guy who has been lusting after his man. Course Jack doen't have anything to worry about...but still in all the idea of some other man sniffing around what's yours brings up that jealousy that ALL men have when it comes to those they love. Linden of course could be fantasizing about the idea of actually stealing Ennis away from Ennis. Of course he is fully aware that will never happen but that doesn't stop him from maybe thinking about it and here was his chance to live it out. Maybe that's why both Jack and Linden gave such realistic performances! (laughing)

But oh my goodness when Jack was kidnap the humor quickly left and the danger and drama came into full focus. When Ennis lost them you felt his pain and fear at the possibility at never seeing his man again.

Glad that Jorge was there but it was strange that he was there. Was his appearance apart of the plan? I not sure. But I don't think he is a bad guy...and he seems to have a short-cut at finding Jack.

I keep saying this el_wing but its true. With each chapter this story is getting more and more exciting!! Can't wait for the next chapter!

george

Re: Another thrilled ride chapter!!

Date: 2008-02-11 12:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Good to see you posting, George. I was beginning get concerned about you as I haven't seen you about much lately. It's been so hard, hasn't it?

I'm glad you're getting into this story. I have to say that it was hard for me to write some of this. I labored over this chapter more than any other I've written (with the exception of Failing Upward (http://geocities.com/elwing_lyre/), which I've never really written the last alternate ending to because that would mean THE END).

Good insight on Jack's motivation and all of their performances. That's exactly what I was reaching for-- Logically Jack knows he has nothing to be jealous of, but all those years without Ennis and all that past rejection comes back to bite him here. And Ennis. His old demons are nipping at his heels too. As for Linden, he could be fantasizing-- but I intentionally kept him out of most of the drama other than to make him the object of Jack's anger, which is logical. People tend to blame the "other" person when infidelity happens more than their partner.

On Jorge, I'm not giving anything away--

I glad you loved the chapter. The next won't be as long in coming.

el

Date: 2008-02-10 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tmn1966.livejournal.com
Oh, boy, this one has me on the edge of my seat. Jack was pretty convincing. I kept thinking that maybe he was drawing on past hurts when Ennis kept turning him away.

Oh, my gosh, I can't wait to find out what happens next.

Thanks so much for updating.

Teri

Date: 2008-02-11 12:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
You're right about Jack's motivation being his past hurts. I'm glad that came through on the story, as that's exactly what I was aiming for (also add a pinch of jealously too).

Thanks for reading and dropping me a comment, Teri. Next update should come faster.

el

Date: 2008-02-10 04:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fridayblues.livejournal.com
Oh my God,
Now you have to come back fast with the update! I'm happy that you can finally get back to Jack and Ennis's world :) Welcome back, El, and come back soon!
Thank,
Blues xxx

Date: 2008-02-11 12:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Thanks so much, Blues. I hope to come back a lot faster with the next update. I have another snow day today, so I'll have time to write again. I plan on making headway in both stories.

I also am anxiously waiting for Flea up-date. I hear that Judy has it. Yes!!!

Thanks much,
love,
el

Date: 2008-02-10 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mariez65.livejournal.com
WOW. el, I'm so impressed with the writing in this chapter, I can't tell you. You struck exactly the right balance. We know they were "acting" but yet it was still hard to read, and you captured everyone's inner emotions so well and showed them to us so deftly.

OMG, the fear, the frustration, the panic, all the unknown elements - and now Jorge. I've got so many questions whirling around in my head, but I'll (try to) wait patiently while biting my nails. I know that sooner or later - and I'm guessing later - all will be revealed.

It's a great feeling to "experience" a story and not merely read it.

Thanks,
Marie

Date: 2008-02-11 12:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Gosh, I am so happy to read people liked this chapter. I was so worried about it. I just wasn't happy with my first draft and revised and added and revised again. I finally felt it was good enough on Saturday.

I've always believed in showing not telling a story. That's what I teach and practice. I like to think that over the years, I've improved-- that's part of the beauty of writing fanfic, writing by the seat of your pants puts in right there with the characters, in their heads, more so than other writing I've done.

Thanks so much for your kind words. I appreciate them, Marie. The next three chapter should answer most of your questions.

love ya,
el

Date: 2008-02-10 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] canteatnocake.livejournal.com
And the Oscar goes to..... Jack Twist!!

Wonderful chapter. Can't wait for more!!

Date: 2008-02-11 12:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Thanks. Jack is deserving.

Glad you liked it. More to come soon!

el

Date: 2008-02-10 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] atz75.livejournal.com
Ooooooooooo, so suspenseful! It's so hard to read about Ennis and Jack fighting even if they were just play-acting. And, it's so heartbreaking to see Ennis lose it in the truck when they think they've lost Jack. This is quite a cliff-hanger here. Can't wait to see how it plays out. :-)

Date: 2008-02-11 12:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
It was even harder to write them fighting. That's what caused me so much pain to write this. I kept wondering, how much should this be Jack reaching into his insecurities and past pains? How much should this be Ennis, with his past worries? It was very hard to write for me.

Thanks for reading-- I struggled with this and glad to see it paid off in my readers' eyes.

love,
el

Date: 2008-02-10 08:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trekfan.livejournal.com
Was Jack going for the academy award?

Now they lost him? (can I have one of those whoppers, you got me hungry when you mentioned it)

poor Ennis, he is going to go nuts worrying about Jack.

Date: 2008-02-11 12:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Jack is acting for his life, the life of his son and wife and for the sweet life he always wanted. He needs more than an academy award!

I'm not a big Whopper fan, but since our boys have big whoppers, I thought it was the perfect burger ;)

Thanks for reading,
el

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] trekfan.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-02-11 04:50 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-02-10 09:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] acquaalta.livejournal.com
OMG!!!

The acting part was incredible ... ohhh sooo good. Wondered a bit how much was actual acting and how much was somewhat "real"?

And for the rest ... oh dear!!! Don't do anything to Jack. And let the three man find all they are looking for. Ok?

Fantastic update. Thank you so much!!
B.

Date: 2008-02-11 12:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
The best acting taps those past memories and experiences. Jack did it well here, didn't he?

Next chapter will be Jack's POV.

Glad you like the story, and thanks for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.

el

Date: 2008-02-10 10:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosiet.livejournal.com
OH Wow. What a chapter! Poor Jack....all alone.... you can't leave us too long...not knowing what is happening to him.... (pretty please? )...and Jorge...what's with him? I liked him from the beginning...I think I'm going to be liking him even more soon.. ( and maybe so is Linden..)

But even though this chapter was frightening..I have to say that scene in the Burger King was to die for...I could just imagine Ennis! My God! If it wasn't so intense Jack would have been shaking in his boots with laughter! Fantastic writing there, Thank you!

Date: 2008-02-11 12:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Well, Rosie, I plan to have the follow-up chapter pretty quick. Hopefully next week sometime. I'd like to post these every ten days, but these last chapters as so pivotal that I want them to be right.

You are right, that is someways the scene was comical. Linden with the drinks on him, swearing a blue streak, Ennis grabbing Jack and hauling him out by the shirt, and Jack describing aspects of their sex life. Sometimes comedy teeters on the edge of terror, doesn't it?

Thanks for reading and commenting. You've been following this story for a long while now, haven't you? Ah, so close to the climax here too. It's kind of sad for me. But then I have their sweet life to write about. That should be fun...
(deleted comment)

Date: 2008-02-11 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
I think of Burns in this chapter: "The best-laid plans of mice and men go oft awry." It's so fitting.

Thanks for reading, Jen. More to come soon (I promise).

love,
el
(deleted comment)

Date: 2008-02-11 12:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
You're right about Linden, but he gave Jack the signal, "Shut up" and should have expected the hit-- He just didn't expect one that hard. He didn't want to duck in (see previous chapter) because it needed to look real. The swing at Ennis from Jack wasn't meant to land.

Thanks, Kathy. More coming!

el

Date: 2008-02-11 12:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mel0804.livejournal.com
Ahhh - fix it.... !
Soon... please... ;-)

Date: 2008-02-11 12:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Will do! More later next week!

el

Date: 2008-02-11 02:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jess-d-10.livejournal.com
I am on the edge of my seat! Wow, intense chapter. During the fight, I kept having to remind myself that they were only acting! But even so, it must be tough for Ennis to imagine the possibility of never seeing Jack again and only remember their last words to each other as yelling.
I hope you'll update soon, because you can't leave us in suspense like this!
-Sam

Date: 2008-02-11 12:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
I won't keep you in suspense too long. I promise. It was a hard chapter to write. This next will be difficult too with Jack as captive. Good thing he has Nina...

Thanks for reading and your kind words. I appreciate them, Sam.

el

Date: 2008-02-11 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bbmbeliever.livejournal.com
oh my god! that was intense. more soon please!

Date: 2008-02-11 12:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
As soon as I can. But not before I get it right (and good).

Thanks for reading and dropping me motivation!

el

Jorge to the Rescue!

Date: 2008-02-11 05:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] joetheone.livejournal.com
Oh Linden has it bad for him I can tell. The scene played out in a Burger King of all places don't they know all that fast food is bad for you? LOL I know I hate fast food and won't step into those places but for the stories sake it was great! Then the sucker punch well never underestimate a Jack Twist because a man with a cause will manage to do everything right. I cannot wait to see what happens next so keep on writing and Joe will be right here cheering on! Joe

Re: Jorge to the Rescue!

Date: 2008-02-11 01:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Linden does have a crush. Fast food is bad for their health in more ways than one, it seems... You're right about Twist-- he's a man fighting for a cause. He's got his family's safety in the back of his mind, and the promise of that "sweet life" he's always wanted. He'll fight alright!

Thanks for reading and cheering, Joe. I plan to keep on writing!

Date: 2008-02-11 07:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] denim-girl2006.livejournal.com
Oh.....*sniff sniff* the chapter started out sad with poor Nina upset over the acting going on. It made me feel bad too.
The "inner eye" part was good....Ennis not wanting Jack's inner eye to get black by being hit by the door. And oh my...I really had to laugh about the fountain drinks and getting the shits at a time like that....geez, I needed that. *smile*
It was also funny when the Coke got spilled on Linden, and the cursing and Ennis knowing that even if the kids didn't speak English they would know it wasn't nursery rhymes Linden was reciting.
But oh my, the light and funnier parts were short lived. I was sooooo nervous when Jack was taken. I was glad when Jorge showed up although I have no idea how he can help but am excited to see! Sounds like he knows what he's doing. Go Jorge!!!

Date: 2008-02-11 01:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
I felt bad for Nina too. One of the debates I had with myself was whether or not to have Nina know they weren't fighting for real. I decided that she should believe it from past experiences with dogs I've had. When my ex and I used to wrestle around on the floor, our golden retrieve would get all upset, thinking we were fighting and try to get between up and split us up. I almost had Nina do the same, instead I opted for her pulling at Jack's pant leg.

The drinks, I thought of-- not that Ennis or anyone was ever going to eat any of the meals... but to have Ennis worrying over trivial details, as well as, the big ones seemed in character to me.

Thanks for reading. I need to finish answering these posts so I can write!

el

Date: 2008-02-11 09:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sweetje.livejournal.com
Jack deserves an academy award for his performance. He actually had me believing that he was really hurting about Ennis and Linden. At least I hope it was all an act. It was almost as if there was a hint of real resentment and fear in his demeanor.
I was so caught up in that chase that I almost cried out with Ennis when he lost Jack. Thank goodness for Jorge. He's turning out to really be the savior in all of this.
I love this story. I can hardly wait for your next chapter. : )
Debra

Date: 2008-02-11 01:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Hey, Debra. Jack did well, didn't. That sure took a lot out of me, getting it down. That's awesome that you almost yelled out. Makes me pat myself on the back for doing my job right on this chapter.

I'm writing the next chapter right now. I hope to have it up sometime later next week. Thanks for commenting.

el

Date: 2008-02-11 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bbm-lover.livejournal.com
Hey El,
That was awesome. Jack was so into his role of the spurned lover. Jack and Linden making a scene in the BK was hilarious, luckily the kids and people couldn't have understood all that he and Linden was saying. The coke getting thrown on Linden and Ennis thoughts that he didn't have to worry about drinking it got me laughing out loud. Could feel Ennis's despair when Jack got taken. Thank goodness Jorge was on hand to help. Cant wait for the next update, this story is so good. Thanks for writing.
Jess

Date: 2008-02-11 09:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Jack was "too" into the role, if you know what I mean... Glad you like the comic moments in BK.

Glad you're enjoying the story. Next update won't be so long in coming.

Thanks, Jess.

el

Date: 2008-02-11 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kmdlrd.livejournal.com
OMG El, that was amazing. I need more fast. I am on the edge of my seat. I don't think I even breathed while reading. Poor Jack, poor Ennis - and Jorge, what is his story? Just loved the acting. Please update soon - I don't mean to be impatient, but I need to know what happens next. Thanks so much. - B

Date: 2008-02-11 09:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
Well, please breath. I don't want to be the cause of you passing out of something ;)

You'll have to wait for Jorge's story, but I promise, you'll get it.

Thanks, I don't know if the next chapter will be as fast as you'd like, but it will be faster than this one ;)

el

Date: 2008-02-11 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gappy-uk.livejournal.com
Great stuff, El! ALthough I felt the tension along with everyone else, I also thought it was actually kind of liberating for Jack to be able to say some stuff out loud....and he seems to have that kind of desperate courage that folk have when they have travelled to the brink...I feel sure he will prevail, he's so focused on finally, FINALLY getting what he needs...

Yeah. Like I said, great stuff!

Date: 2008-02-11 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] el-wing.livejournal.com
I like what you wrote about this being liberating for Jack. There is truth in that-- he's so close.

Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate it!

el
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